


He seemed happy

by krissyxlove



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Other, Past Relationship(s), Past and Present, Sad Ending, ending up with other people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 18:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krissyxlove/pseuds/krissyxlove
Summary: Phil tells the story of his first love.





	He seemed happy

Little feet echoed the halls followed by little giggles moving in closer to an older gentleman sitting by a large bay window. 

"Grandpa!" A small voice rang out before a tiny figure attached itself to the older man. 

"My Oh My what do we have here? It's a little Maya!" The older man chuckled as he moved to settle her onto his hip so he could carry her. "I heard you've been a good girl today from your mommy and you didn't cry one bit! After the service, why don't we grab some ice cream as a reward?" The man with salt and pepper hair asked with a soft smile as the little girl's face lit up. 

"Yesh!" The little girl said wiggling as she giggled. 

"Maya, you have to settle down first though. What we are about to go to is a very serious matter..." He paused for a moment of reflection before continuing. "...Is what I should be saying, but your Grandmother however would want the event to be as lively as possible. Disregard what I just said," He said as he turned his head to the side so his granddaughter could no longer see his face, "Dammit Marie." He whispered softly as a small tear fell out, he wiped it away as quickly as possible with his free hand so he could continue on with the light mood.

The funeral kept a light and airy mood. A lot of people came by with apologetic faces and kind words. Most of them along the lines of "I'm sorry for your loss, Phil Marie was such a kind woman and will be missed dearly." He knew it was true. He did end up marrying such a wonderful woman so why did he still feel somewhat empty? 

Phil shook his head and threw a smile back on extending his hand to the next person giving their condolences. Saddened chocolate eyes met broken crystal as only silence and a firm handshake was shared. His emptiness immediately amplified as the man by the other man's side gave a soft smile. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Phil." He said before the pair walked off, hand in hand. 

Phil's eyes were unable to stop following the pair until soft chocolate eyes looked back for one final look. They were glistening in the light of the church and Phil remembered them glistening the same way the last time he saw them.

-

After the service and burial concluded, little Maya and her beloved Grandfather went out for ice cream as promised.

"Grandpa, what's falling in love like?" Maya asked through a mouth full of ice cream. The sudden question made the older gentleman freeze for a moment before a memory made him smile. 

"That is a complex question for such a young lady but, would you like a story?" He asked causing the little girl to perk up as a bright smile formed across her face. 

"Yes!" She squealed. 

Phil gave a small chuckle as he leaned back in his seat. "Okay little one, let me tell you the story of my first love," He said as his eyes glazed over as if he could actually see into the past. "My first love was an amazing person. They were rough around the edges but they had the softest centre. Their laugh was boisterous and their humour was dark. They always kept things interesting, and for years I was in awe. They were actually one of my biggest fans back in my golden years. We did everything together so it was only natural when we literally turned into a pair. I still remember that conversation as if it were yesterday..."

-

"Phiw I'm hungryyyyyy!" A young brunette whined. He was sprawled out on the couch of Phil's small flat.

"Nice to meet you hungry," Phil smirked back before swatting at the other's feet so he could have enough space to sit. 

"You know, I am your guest you should take better care of me."

"Dan, you practically live here. You use my washer, you steal my food, you sleep on my couch when there is a perfectly good bed-" Phil then stopped with a blush and wide eyes before trying to laugh it off. "I uh- mean-" 

Dan sat up with a blush dusting his cheeks. "Did you just..."

Phil rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly as he clearly avoided eye contact, "I did...I mean if you want to, there is room for you. Only if you want it." 

"For now, this will do but one day we can get a better place for _us_." 

That word sounded delicious rolling off of Dan's tongue. 

"For _us_ eh?" Phil tested out the word for himself. It felt right.

-

"From that day forward, I always made room for them in my life," Phil said with a fond smile.

"Did you two kiss?" Maya asked innocently which caused Phil to nearly choke on his treat. 

"O-Oh dear! Yes we did...A lot. We were even kissing the first time we admitted our feelings."

-

"mmph, Dan, we need to get ready," Phil mumbled against Dan's lips.

"It can wait, It's just a panel. They can start without us." Dan tried, pulling Phil back down on top of him. The hotel bed creaked beneath them with a bounce. 

Phil couldn't help but laugh at the desperation in Dan's whines. Maybe the panel could wait, but Phil had something on his mind that couldn't. 

"Hey, Dan, can we talk for a minute?" 

Dan pulled back instantly with a worried look on his face. "Oh no, I've heard this before...is this still okay? Do you still want to you know-" 

Phil couldn't help but bust out laughing at the look on Dan's face. It shouldn't be funny but Phil was feeling the complete opposite of whatever Dan was worrying about. 

"Dan, I love you," Phil said with a huge smile. 

Dan smiled back as a look of relief flooded his features, "I love you too. I have for like a really _really_ **REALLY** long time." 

Phil laughed as he pulled Dan back on top of him. The panel could _really_ wait now.

-

"We did kiss a lot, we loved each other a lot too. I spent nine years of my life with them. Sneaking around and going on dates in exclusively private places so no one would guess what was going on between us."

"But why? If you two were in love wouldn't you want to show the world?" Maya asked, causing Phil to sigh a little. 

"They wanted to, I didn't," Phil said shamefully.

-

"I can't believe we had to cancel our night out again because you _needed_ a private booth." Dan stomped through the door heading straight for the guest bedroom, slamming it in Phil's face before he could even make it through.

"I told you, I just am not ready yet!" Phil shouted through the door. 

The door then opened revealing a tired looking Dan. Phil then realised that lately Dan always looked tired. "You'll never be ready, will you?" The words weren't angry, they were just hopeless. They were definitely the words of someone who has truly given up. 

Phil took a moment to stare blankly at his lover, the man he has been in love with for nearly a decade. He wants to be ready--ready for him. He went to open up his mouth to tell him he chooses him, he chooses Dan above all else. But apparently, he took a moment too long to come to this conclusion. 

"I'm packing my things. I'm leaving." The words were shaky and tears were spilling from beautiful chocolate eyes. However, all warmth has now disappeared from them.

Phil will never be able to make him happy.

-

"This person isn't Grandma, is it?" Maya said with a small pout.

Phil reached out and ruffled the small girls hair. "Maya, my love, you asked about my first love. I loved your grandmother deeply but I was also deeply in love with someone else when we came together. When I met your grandmother that night I fell in love with her...Then we lived happily ever after! The End!" The old man chuckled as he stood up. "Besides, my old love seems happy with who they chose." He smiled at his young grandchild.

"He always seems so happy, until he catches a glimpse of me," He muttered so low that no one could hear him.

-

Dan spent months cooped up in his new flat. It was sterile, sockless, and just...quiet; There was no one eating his cereal, there was no one leaving socks all about, the cupboards were always closed after each use. It was a flat without Phil and it just was all wrong. Dan knew he had nothing to apologize for but he at least wanted to try again with Phil. He has spent months reflecting on where things went wrong and how he could have eased Phil into coming out instead of constantly forcing it. He was just tired the night he left...but now he is tired and lonely. His flat is not a home.

He checked Phil's social media accounts like he often did and noticed in his instastory he was at a pub they have been to quite a few times. Enough time has passed that they could now hold a more civil conversation. It's not that we were angry before, they were just both so worn out the argument wasn't worth it. 

Pulling up to the pub Dan walked in with his head held high and a smile on his face. He looked towards the left, and then the right trying to find the silhouette he had grown so used to spotting over the years. 

When he found him however, he wasn't alone. He was tucked into a small booth with a smiling petite brunette tucked under his arm. She was laughing and he was smiling down at her with an awe stricken face. 

Dan knew that face...he knew what that meant...

_He was happy._


End file.
